Quarter Final 3: Waitrose v Tesco

Hey, how are you? It’s my work Christmas party today on the one day in between all the train strikes so the trains will be buggered. I’ve also had a cold since last week that I’m just about done with, but on Tuesday my missus got covid and I’m testing negative but my work hinted that I shouldn’t go just in case so I’m stuck at home anyway with no free lunch or daytime drinking. Instead, I’m writing about a sandwich and some World Cup predictions.

Today’s quarter final is between Waitrose with their Turkey, Stuffing and Bacon sandwich (aka a Turkey Feast) versus Tesco with their Turkey Feast (which contains turkey, stuffing and bacon). Which sandwich is going home today?

REVIEW: Turkey & Trimmings by Tesco

Turkey breast, mayonnaise, sausage, cranberry sauce, sage and onion stuffing, sweet cure bacon in malted bread

Is it the same sandwich for 7 years? You betcha, baby. Even the same packaging! But there are two small differences – it’s 20p more expensive and the former pork sausage is now just sausage. And we all know why that is, right? Well no, Capitan Brexit, it’s not that. Taking a deep dive on the ingredients, the sausage is still pork, but also lentils and we have to assume mainly lentils now or it would still be called a pork sausage.

And if nothing really ever changes with the Tesco sandwich, it is still as reliable as ever? Yes, this is still your benchmark christmas sandwich. All the flavours you want, it’s not too soggy, not too dry. It’s never going to top my list of sandwiches, but you can trust it to deliver what you want, year on year. All other sandwiches are judged by this. And the judgement is: not as good as the Waitrose one.

There’s really not much more to say. If you’re better than the Tesco Turkey Feast, you’re a good Christmas sandwich. If you’re worse, you’re a bad Christmas sandwich. It’s pure middle of the road.

Now, onto the World Cup predictions and after saying Bazroy had done too little, too late yesterday, he sent me a text message.

Bazroy texting me, yesterday

I had completely overlooked that he had predicted an Argentina v France final, which no one else in the running to win had predicted, apart from myself. He has shot up to 3rd and if Argentina win, he wins the whole thing! All my deep diving and analysis was for nothing. Look, you’re here for sandwich reviews and a bit of moaning really, and that’s what I’m geared up for, not maths.

So, with France through to the final, the World Cup predictions league is down to just me and him. Inaugural predictions champion Bazroy needs Argentina to win, sexy Christmas sandwich review blogger me needs France to win. And that’s that, unless you’re also a complete virgin and have done some working out on a piece of paper and want to text me to say I’ve missed someone? No? Good.

We can worry about all that next week though, after Sunday’s final. Until then, come back tomorrow for the last sandwich quarter final: Morrisons versus Jamie Oliver.


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