REVIEW: Turkey & Trimmings by Tesco

Oh hello there! How has your year been? I’ve just spent most of November trapped in our flat due the missus getting covid and then kindly passing it onto me just as her isolation was up. The good news is: I had a super mild case where I felt like complete crap for two days and then just felt like I had a bad cold. The bad news is: I didn’t die, so I must spend yet another December eating and reviewing the same fucking sandwiches that I go through every December. You know, until I run out of steam and can’t be bothered and it trails off like it did last year. Or like the Friday Brain Dumps I was doing a few weeks ago.

Anyway, shall we crack on? The first of December has crept up on me during the utter tedium of self isolation and I didn’t plan for the first review at all. I was on video call for work when the missus said she was popping over Tesco so I asked her to get me a Christmas sandwich and thus this year’s reviews got started! And she did the right thing: got me a meal deal with beef hula hoops and a Lipton ice tea – the best options. You can change the crisps for millionaire shortbread or Belgian waffles but that’s it. If you disagree, I will brand you a white supremacist in the media.

Turkey breast, mayonnaise, pork sausage, cranberry sauce, sage and onion stuffing, sweetcure bacon in malted bread

You might be able to make out from the photo that the missus seems to have tried to fold the sandwich in half to get it neatly into her bag, and that is the level of care and attention I have come to except from her.

Is it the same old Tesco sandwich as every other year? Of course it is! For 6 years in a row. But as is tradition, they have made one small change from last year. This year the bacon is not listed as streaky. Why? We’ll never know. It seemed streaky. I am already losing my enthusiasm this year…

No wait, come on let’s make an effort. Okay, this sandwich is what I would call a good benchmark sandwich. It is moist without being soggy. It has a good balance of Christmas flavours with the cranberry, stuffing, bacon and mayo. It is a solid, reliable effort that has everything I am looking for in my pre-packaged Christmas themed sandwich, but it is nothing special. A good low risk option. If you’re the sort of person who goes to another town or city and then has dinner in Zizzi because your basic reptile brain recognizes the name, this is for you.

I might try something different for the next review because after one of the most repetitive and tedious years of my life, I’m not sure how long I can keep this up. That is if I have time and can be bothered, of course. Bye!

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