REVIEW: British Turkey Feast by Costa

£3.50 – sliced turkey breast, Cumberland sausage and British beechwood smoked streaky with sage and onion stuffing, mayonnaise and cranberry sauce on malted bread.

Another turkey feast? NO! A British turkey feast. This is what we all voted for! As someone quipped in the Facebook comments, make turkey sandwiches great again. When I first picked it up, I thought the sandwich had been blessed with a post-Brexit Toblerlone reduction in size (they’re too bloody big if you ask me, decadent).

But then I realised that Costa have done something crazy – it’s a pre-packaged shop bought sandwich that has been cut into rectangles not triangles! That’s why it seems smaller. But have they gone too far? Or are rectangles normal in a coffee shop? I don’t go in coffee shops because coffee is one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted. Same with cucumber. What’s wrong with you people? Anyway, onto the tiny rectangular sandwich…

I was hoping the added bonus of sausage would add something special to this, but really it hasn’t shown up and just seems lost in there amongst everything else. Hiding. The Theo Walcott of sausages. Otherwise though, it’s a decent Christmas sandwich that you can’t really go wrong with. Look at the ingredients again, there is nothing that really stands out, nothing experimental (and thankfully no spinach). And this both the biggest strength and weakness of this sandwich. A solid workman like performance, but it won’t be winning any silverware. Everton.