£2.55 – Turkey, pork and sage stuffing, sweetcure bacon, cranberry relish, mayonnaise, brown bread.

Today’s sandwich is from Greggs, mainly because from the office it is the nearest place after Pret. And a good contrast to the faux fanciness and caring of Pret. As with most Greggs there was a queue out of the door, but instead of the usual grey track suit Kerry Katona clientele this Greggs is in Westminster darling, so it was packed to bursting point with people in suits looking for a quick and dirty lunchtime fix before they go back to the office. A culinary brothel, if you will. A brothel where all the prostitutes are Kerry Katona and you know you shouldn’t but oh well you’re there now and they’re pretty cheap.

What? Oh yeah, sandwiches. So this was 95p cheaper than Pret and fairly basic. They have gone for the standard turkey, stuffing and bacon mix and served in a generic plastic package. No green stuff or pretentious copy all over your lunch with Greggs. Here’s your sandwich, now piss off! Which is also how I imagine the Kerry Katona brothel works.

The sandwich itself is pretty standard. The overpowering taste of the stuffing is backed up with a hit of cranberry relish and slight taste of bacon, but overall it is the standard dry Greggs affair. Greggs sandwiches always taste like something I made myself and have left in my bag all day.