Editorial

poohbylineWords don’t have meaning without context. Christopher Robin refers to me as ‘willy, nilly, silly old bear’. That’s accepted and okay between us. If we were walking down the street together and a strange human referred to me as a ‘silly old bear’, that wouldn’t be acceptable.

It’s the same thing with words within the House at Pooh Cornner community, or within any community. Kanga and Roo will use the word ‘g’day.’ I do not join in. And perhaps, more importantly, I don’t have the desire to.

We understand that it’s normal for groups to use words that are derogatory in an ironic fashion, so why is there so much hand-wringing when people of stuffed fluff do it? The question one must ask is why so many humans have difficulty extending things that are basic laws of how human beings interact to people of stuffed fluff? When you’re human in this world, you’re taught that everything belongs to you. You think you have a right to everything. You’re conditioned this way.

So here comes this word that you feel like you invented. And now somebody’s going to tell you how to use the word that you invented. That’s racism that I don’t get to use it, that’s racist against me. I have to inconvenience myself and read this collection of children’s stories at bed time and I can’t read the word out loud. How come I can’t read it out loud?

I think for parents, I think the experience of reading a children’s book at bed time and not being able to use the word t-word is actually very, very insightful. It will give you just a little peak into the world of what it means to be a person of stuffed fluff. Because to be stuffed with fluff is to walk through the world and watch people doing things that you cannot do, that you can’t join in and do. He may be a wonderful thing, with a top made out of rubber and a bottom made out of springs, he may be bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, but every time you say tigger, it is an act of violence. And so I think there’s actually a lot to be learned from refraining.

10 Easter Eggs you DIDN’T see in Universal’s Hop

Do you remember Universal’s animated feature film Hop which was probably about the Easter Bunny? No we didn’t see it either. But if you had, here are 10 easter eggs you may have missed.

10. The Empire Hops Back

One scene in the film is a shot for shot remake of the famous training montage scene from Star Wars II: The Empire Strikes Back. In that scene, Luke Skywalker was put through a grueling training regime to prepare him to become a Jedi with a Yoda on his back. This screenshot found using Google image search suggests something similar may have happened in Hop.

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9. The Eggs-Men

Yes, you probably noticed in the last entry that the bunny is riding on the back of Cyclops from the X-men films. But that’s not the only superhero film that James Marsden has appeared in. He was also in Superman Returns, which  featured an emo Superman and no fighting whatsoever for some reason. He was also in Saved By The Bell: The New Class, according to Wikipedia.

Film Title: Hop

8. A Egg

Did you notice this egg when you first watched hop? Me neither!

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7. Another Egg

What?

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6. Egg

Holy shit, another egg!

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5. Egg

Whoa check out that egg!

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4. Egg

What? Another egg?

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3. Egg

There are almost too many eggs in this scene.

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2. Egg

Fuck there are more eggs behind him!

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1. Egg

They’re in the foreground as well?! I’m going for a lie down.

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A Tribute to Grape-kun

Today is a sad day. It will be a surprise to some as I have never, ever mentioned this to a single person before today for some reason, but I’ve always considered Grape-kun, the penguin that fell in love with an anime cardboard cutout, as a major influence on the person I am today. I think of Grape-kun in everything I do, from how I try to carry myself as a person, how I interact with other people, to how I write my reviews of Christmas sandwiches on the years I can be bothered to write them. Whenever I face a problem in life, the first question I ask myself is “What would Grape-kun do?”.

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Everyone will have their own reasons for remembering Grape-kun. Earlier my 5-year-old daughter asked me “Daddy, will Grape-kun now be with his beloved Hululu in heaven?” I just didn’t know what to say. How do I look her in the eye and tell her that another strong positive role model for women has gone in this age of toxic masculinity? I was literally shaking. There are no words. I can’t even.

I once met Grape-kun in an unlikely situation which unfortunately can never be verified but it really did happen, I haven’t just made it up for clicks on social media. I’d like to keep what happened between us as it’s what they would have wanted, but I can say that they showed great generosity and human spirit that day. And more importantly, they were very, very funny. A great example of a celebrity giving something back, I’m sure you’ll agree. Please email me if you would like to interview me and use this example in a national news publication or broadcast.

Love them or hate them, Grape-kun was a true leader in their field and a massive influence on the industry as a whole, to the extent that their fame transcended beyond what they were originally famous for. They will be eternally missed, far beyond 2017.

As a mark of respect, there will be no Christmas sandwich review today.

Sunday Lunch Playlist: When They Are Dead by Shaw-Cude House

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When They Are Dead is the brand new single by Shaw-Cude House. A combination of sublime, honest vocals and haunting acoustic folk melodies, with an uplifting hip-hop inspired beat, this a tune you will want to listen to again and again. Perfect for driving, hosting a chilled out dinner party or a just a lazy Sunday afternoon in the garden. Add it to your own playlists now.

Fact file:

Shaw-Cude House started his music career by playing gigs in local pubs and bars

He cites David Bowie, The Beatles, Prince and the Arctic Monkeys as his biggest musical influences

Shaw-Cude House doesn’t like to be labelled and feels that his music traverses across multiple genres

He is currently touring and working on new material

 

Sunday Lunch Playlist: A Deity To Be Worshiped by The Fall of Chronopolis

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A Deity To Be Worshiped is the brand new single by The Fall of Chronopolis. A combination of distorted horror vocals, crunching industrial guitars and aggressive damage-core beat, this a tune you will want to listen to again and again. Perfect for hiding in your room after arguing with your parents, hosting a black ritual dedicated to the great horned Satan himself or a just a lazy Sunday afternoon in the garden. Add it to your own playlists now.

Fact file:

The Fall of Chronopolis started their music career by playing gigs in local morgues and abandonned abatoirs

They cite Flesh Razor, Cannibal Jesus, Giant Dildo Massacre and the Arctic Monkeys as their biggest musical influences

The Fall of Chronopolis describe their musical style as Digital Torture

They are currently touring and working on new material in a graveyard

 

Sunday Lunch Playlist: The Soul and It’s Secrets Inscrutable by Jamno

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The Soul and It’s Secrets Inscrutable is the brand new single by Jamno. A combination of sublime, honest vocals and haunting acoustic folk melodies, with an uplifting hip-hop inspired beat, this a tune you will want to listen to again and again. Perfect for driving, hosting a chilled out dinner party or a just a lazy Sunday afternoon in the garden. Add it to your own playlists now.

Fact file:

Jamno started his music career by playing gigs in local pubs and bars

He cites David Bowie, The Beatles, Prince and the Arctic Monkeys as his biggest musical influences

Jamno doesn’t like to be labelled and feels that his music traverses across multiple genres

He is currently touring and working on new material

 

Sunday Lunch Playlist: A Good Education, Then A Dog by Gazeta Basarabiei

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A Good Education, Then A Dog is the brand new single by Gazeta Basarabiei. A combination of sublime, honest vocals and haunting acoustic folk melodies, with an uplifting hip-hop inspired beat, this a tune you will want to listen to again and again. Perfect for driving, hosting a chilled out dinner party or a just a lazy Sunday afternoon in the garden. Add it to your own playlists now.

Fact file:

Gazeta Basarabiei started her music career by playing gigs in local pubs and bars

She cites David Bowie, The Beatles, Prince and the Arctic Monkeys as his biggest musical influences

Gazeta Basarabiei doesn’t like to be labelled and feels that her music traverses across multiple genres

She is currently touring and working on new material