REVIEW: Ploughman’s Special by Rye Cafe

So I’ve dusted off the blog for another sandwich review. Is it a Christmas Sandwich? No, but it is a noteworthy sandwich. I’ve even reopened my boring old Facebook account so the handful of people who follow the Christmas Sandwich Review Facebook page might get to see this and maybe I’ll get a like or two. Pathetic.

You may recall that whilst reviewing the sandwiches in December I was losing my mind from being trapped in a flat in Tooting for nearly two years. Well, we finally moved in January, further out of London to Ashtead in Surrey. Yes, I’m a Surrey wanker now – I did support Man United but now I support Man City but I prefer rugby although I only watch the 6 Nations once a year, I wear a quilted wax jacket, I drive my two children Molly and Griffin around in a giant jeep before taking them to the pub to ruin everyone else’s day and I say I vote Labour but I secretly vote Conservative.

But we’re not here to talk about how much I’ve changed, we’re here to talk about a sandwich from my new local cafe, The Rye Cafe. And that sandwich is: the Ploughman’s Special.

For the ingredients list, I’ll quote directly from their menu:

Yes, it’s a sandwich! Ham, Branston Pickle, Cheese, Pork Pie, Apple and Celery

A pie in sandwich! Madness. My missus took her mum to this cafe the other week and told me about this ludicrous sandwich, and this week I took my parents there so I could try it out. And my first impression? It’s big and messy! It’s a big sandwich, the kind that would give a lesser person lockjaw (in fact all of their sandwiches were big). The missus had it the other week but took the pork pie out. I, of course, shoved the whole thing in my gob and took a big bite like a true hero and my face was covered in mayo and pickle.

I like a ploughman’s, and I love pork pies and pickle. Remember when Tesco used to sell a tube of five pork pies that already had pickle in them? I used to love those, could smash a whole tube. And this sandwich had a great hit of pickle as I bit into it, followed by the classic mush of meat and crunch of pastry from the slice of pork pie, and then a different crunch from the sweet apple, with all of this complimented by a ton of cheese and a nice thick bit of ham. A full ploughman’s in one bite.

So overall, a cracking sandwich. I also want to give a shout out to the friendly staff as well and I’ll definitely be back for this sandwich again, and a breakfast when I’m hungover. And don’t worry, I’m not going to review every sandwich I eat from now on but I thought I should mention this one. Plus, I’ll be too busy being a Surrey wanker.


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