The calendar has stopped pretending to be a tool for organisation. It’s become a living creature, a beast that grows new appointments overnight. I swear I deleted three meetings yesterday, but this morning they were back, multiplied, like damp mushrooms sprouting in the margins. The inbox is no longer pinging — it’s howling, a chorus of festive demands that overlap until they blur into one long scream.

The drizzle has escalated too. It’s not just falling from the sky anymore; it’s seeping from the walls, dripping from the ceiling, condensing on the inside of windows. I found condensation on my glasses indoors. Indoors! The weather has breached the perimeter.

And then there’s the driveway. The deposits are no longer discreet. Today’s was monumental, architectural. A structure so large I had to fetch a spade. I stood there in the drizzle, spade in hand, wondering if this was still December or if I’d slipped into some other season entirely — one defined by chaos, dampness, and relentless poo.

Today’s sandwich is Nutmeg & Crust’s Vegan Parsnip & Walnut Loaf.

Roasted parsnip loaf, walnut spread, cranberry sauce, focaccia.

The focaccia is soft and oily, its surface dimpled and fragrant with rosemary. Inside, slices of parsnip loaf are earthy and sweet, their roasted edges caramelised. Walnut spread adds richness, nutty and slightly bitter, grounding the sweetness. Cranberry sauce bursts through with sharp brightness, sticky and insistent. Together, they form a sandwich that feels both wholesome and eccentric, a vegan answer to festive indulgence.

The first bite is grounding, earthy, almost calm. The parsnip is sweet, the walnut spread rich, the cranberry sharp. But eating it in the middle of drizzle‑soaked chaos feels surreal. It’s like biting into a pastoral dream while the calendar screams and the driveway mutates into a hostile landscape.

By now, the sandwiches are no longer just food. They’re anchors, small edible rituals that keep me tethered to something recognisable while the rest of December dissolves into madness. The Vegan Parsnip & Walnut Loaf doesn’t solve the chaos, but it offers a strange kind of balance — earthy, nutty, sweet — against drizzle, diary, and driveway.

Tomorrow, the calendar will grow new limbs. The drizzle will seep into new corners. The driveway will present fresh horrors. But for now, the parsnip loaf holds me steady, one bite at a time.