Match 2: SOHO Coffee Co. v Lidl

Yesterday I made a comment about Brexit rising prices and those lucky Brexiteers getting to blame Covid and the invasion of Ukraine for it, but then two hours later the BBC announced that the London School Economic had decided to back me up. This is the power of the Christmas Sandwich Review Blog! I speak the truth! Anyway…

It’s match 2 in the World Cup of Christmas Sandwiches! And today we have a newcomer to the blog – SOHO Coffee Co. Yes, their branding always writes Soho in all caps. Very annoying. They are up against Lidl who are regularly an above average performer on the blog, so a tough test for the new boys. Or new girls. Or new thems. Please don’t cancel my blog. It’s Classic Christmas Dinner by SOHO Coffee Co. v Turkey Feast by Lidl.

And the sandwich getting knocked out today is:

REVIEW: Classic Christmas Dinner by SOHO Coffee Co.

Crispy bacon, orange infused stuffing, shredded turkey and our new zesty winter spiced cranberry sauce, on malted grain bread.

Yes, Lidl was too tough a test for the newbies, but it’s all their own fault! I bought and ate this sandwich in Liverpool Street station on the way home from work before I went home and had dinner. What a naughty boy.

So, how was the sandwich I scoffed down before I jumped on the tube? Well, I have no idea what was going on with this sandwich. You know those pre-made sandwich fillers you can get in supermarkets, coronation chicken and the like? You know the ones I mean!Specifically the cheese and onion ones? Well this whole thing tasted like one of those cheese and onion sandwich fillers. Honestly, it was one of the most mental things that’s ever happened in my life. I wasn’t sure if I was having a stroke or near death experience, nothing in that moment made sense.

I scoured the ingredients on the packet and the shelf and there is nothing to explain why turkey, stuffing, bacon and cranberry sauce would taste like a cheese and onion mix, but then spinach wasn’t mentioned in the ingredients either and that was definitely in the sandwich.

You can see spinach in the photo of the sandwich! I haven’t lost my marbles! I double checked I didn’t have the wrong sandwich by mistake or that they hadn’t put the wrong sandwich in the box, but everything was in order.

So I don’t know what the SOHO Coffee Co. was trying to pull. I have to say, it did taste like a good cheese and onion sandwich filling. But does that make it a bad turkey sandwich? Well yes. For the few minutes I was in that shop I genuinely felt like I’d gone mad. Honestly, words are not doing this justice. I wish you had all been there, huddled around the table with me taking bites of the mind bending, reality altering sandwich.

I think there is only one way to settle this – SOHO Coffee Co. is disqualified! I don’t know what they were trying to achieve or what went wrong but it’s definitely not allowed. I know the “multiverse” idea is trendy at the moment but we don’t need Christmas sandwiches from an alternate reality, I’ve got enough to get through. Classic Christmas Dinner, indeed. Congratulations to Lidl who move on to face Boots in the quarter finals. Two solid contenders there to keep an eye on.

In actual World Cup news, there have been more crazy goings on with Germany and Belgium out, and the predictions league has had a few changes.

It’s still Murray and myself in 1st and 2nd respectively, but Rolfey is back in 3rd and closing in on me. Carly has plummeted from 3rd to 8th. Predicting the World Cup is a cruel, cruel game. The group stages finish today and there could be a huge shift by the time I’m writing again on Monday as the knockout stages are where the big points are earned.

Have a good weekend and see you on Monday for Subway vs the Rye Cafe.

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