Today is a sad day. It will be a surprise to some as I have never, ever mentioned this to a single person before today for some reason, but I’ve always considered [dead celebrity] as a major influence on the person I am today. I think of [dead celebrity] in everything I do, from how I try to carry myself as a person, how I interact with other people, to how I write my reviews of Christmas sandwiches on the years I can be bothered to write them. Whenever I face a problem in life, the first question I ask myself is “What would [dead celebrity] do?”.

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Everyone will have their own reasons for remembering [dead celebrity]. Earlier my 5-year-old daughter asked me “Daddy, will [dead celebrity] now be with [last dead celebrity] in heaven?” I just didn’t know what to say. How do I look her in the eye and tell her that another strong positive role model for women has gone in this age of toxic masculinity? I was literally shaking. There are no words. I can’t even.

I once met [dead celebrity] in an unlikely situation which unfortunately can never be verified but it really did happen, I haven’t just made it up for clicks on social media. I’d like to keep what happened between us as it’s what they would have wanted, but I can say that they showed great generosity and human spirit that day. A great example of a celebrity giving something back, I’m sure you’ll agree. Please email me if you would like to interview me and use this example in a national news publication or broadcast.

Love them or hate them, [dead celebrity] was a true leader in their field and a massive influence on the industry as a whole, to the extent that their fame transcended beyond what they were originally famous for. They will be eternally missed, far beyond [current year].

As a mark of respect, there will be no Christmas sandwich review today.