Well this is it folks, the last ever Christmas sandwich review post.

I feel like I should’ve quit when I was ahead with the 10 year anniversary of the blog that coincided with the 2022 World Cup – that was genuinely fun to do. Last year was a boring slog and I didn’t even bother doing the 2023 rankings until I remembered about it in June.

Another reason for giving up is that I’m also a lot more offline nowadays – I got rid of Facebook and Twitter last year, before Elon Musk had even arrived! I’m about to ditch Instagram after not looking at it properly for a few months, despite the fact I quite like Instagram because there is a modicum of effort in creating an image or a video. Essentially, I binned most of it off because I was very fed up with letting online bullshit affect my mood and thoughts in real life. I’d ask someone who wasn’t terminally online their thoughts about something and they’d have no idea what I’m talking about and it turns out it didn’t really matter if you didn’t spend all day watching a load of mentally ill strangers argue on the internet.

I had been thinking about ditching it all for a while for the reason above, but something else helped it along – I was also being slightly cyber stalked. That’s exciting, isn’t it? I say slightly – it was slightly for me, I have no idea how intense it was from their end. It’s actually more sad than exciting really. When you see me, ask me about it.

Nowadays, after reading BBC News, Arseblog (an Arsenal blog, not a bum blog) and doing some puzzles or quizzes, I now look at my phone a lot less. Sometimes for less than 1 hour a day! It’s quite refreshing. So what do I do now with all this spare time? Am I super productive and living a serene, peaceful life? Have I started achieving my dreams? No, I sit and think about the mundanity and pointlessness of existence and how the world is being ruined by money and greed. I’m not sure if I’m really better off. Scrolling is the new opium of the masses and I’m going cold turkey.

Speaking of cold turkey! I’ll still be eating Christmas sandwiches because I love them, but I cannot be fucked to do it to a schedule and write about them. Instead, I’ll be living in the moment and just enjoying a sandwich whilst I eat it. Or not, if it’s from Sainsbury’s.

I couldn’t just leave you all with this boring old post about my mid-life crisis, so the good news is that in November I went to a Christmas sandwich party in Peckham (of course). Here are some reviews from that night.

Sarnie Party! Christmas Special

The sensual red light on the photos is not my fault, it was the lighting in the venue. It didn’t feel like Stringfellows-esque lighting in the freezing cold barn/warehouse thing that we were hanging about in Peckham, but the photos make it look sexy/seedy. On the way in, you got 3 tokens which could be exchanged for 3 of the sandwiches above, so here are 3 very quick reviews of the sandwiches I had.

Sloppy Ho Ho Ho’s by Barabara

This was essentially some very nice bolognaise in a roll. Was it very Christmassy? No. Was it a very tasty sandwich? Yes.

Merry Carb-Mas by The Cheese Truck

This was an excellent artery clogging sandwich stuffed with tons of cheese and the potatoes were a great touch. Was it Christmassy? I’m going to say yes, it was like the sides with your Christmas dinner, when your potatoes get a bit covered in cauliflower cheese. And I honestly don’t care if cauliflower cheese is or isn’t part of your family’s Christmas traditions.

The Reconstructed Festive Bake by The Untitled Sandwich Shop

I wasn’t sure what to have for my third sandwich. The event was sponsored by Deliveroo in some way and whilst I was trying to decide on my final sandwich, a man in a festive Deliveroo outfit told me The Untitled Sandwich shop only had one sandwich left in them and offered me some rum to drink with him whilst I waited for the sandwich to be made, so he basically made the decision for me.

As it was their last sandwich, they put a lot in it and I got in quite a mess. This was a cracking sandwich and hit all the right Christmassy notes. I had to finish on something approaching what I think of as a traditional Christmas sandwich, so this was ideal. And no, the Deliveroo guy didn’t try it on with me.

Due to an administrative error, we also ended up with a spare token between me and my two friends, so I also had a third of a sandwich from Picky Bits, who is based very close to where I live. I didn’t plan to have one of their sandwiches, in fact I walked up to the stall and asked the owner if she is going have the same sandwich in her shop near where I live over the Christmas period and declared I’ll wait until then rather use up one of my 3 sandwich tokens. It’s embarrassing how much confidence a couple of pints gives me and I find my myself using my blog to apologise to an innocent woman who makes very, very good sandwiches once again caught up in the madness of the sandwich blog. The peanut butter, jam, banana and bacon one she did last month was amazing and so was the chicken Kiev one. Please crack on. I will be in for the Christmas sandwich and hopefully I will remain anonymous.

So there you go, your last ever Christmas sandwich reviews from me and a whopping 3.5 sandwich reviews to mull over. Farewell to my 3 loyal readers. It’s been a long 12 twelves years, so thanks for sticking around you fucking weirdos.