Has it really been six months since the Christmas sandwich reviews trailed off with no conclusion or rankings? Crikey.

Anyway, onto more fun things: It’s that time of (every two) year(s) again. Yes, it time for a Euros or World Cup prediction tournament. And as I have scrubbed most of my social media, the only way to get all the details for taking part is by having to read my insufferable blog. And in a shameless attempt to up my ad revenue, I am going to take ages to get to the details you want to make sure you see maximum adverts, like every single free website you go on nowadays. Once I make it to the minimum £10 I can withdraw in 2054, it’ll all be worth it. How do you sign up for the prediction competition? Read on…

What is football?

Association football, commonly known as football, or soccer, is a team sport played between two teams of 11 players each, who primarily use their feet to propel a ball around a rectangular field called a pitch.

That’s what they all do now, isn’t it? You want to find out what time SummerSlam starts and you open a web page titled “What Time Does SummerSlam Start?” but you have to scroll past a history of wrestling and pay-per-television filled with adverts before there is one line at the bottom of the article with the time. You look up a recipe and there are 500 diary like self indulgent words before the actual recipe.

And I’m doing exactly the same thing by moaning people doing it. It’s all very post-modern but also a deeply cynical marketing ploy. Like all the companies saying they care about mental health in their marketing but giving you boot if you don’t work your fingers to the bone and meet their impossible understaffed deadlines. Smoke and mirrors. Making myself look like one thing whilst doing the very opposite. Okay what’s the word count up to? That’ll do, let’s crack on.

So far, we have had the following tournaments:

The World Cup Predict-o-tron (2014), won by Bazroy99 who may or may not have lost that trophy. Holy shit that was 10 years ago!

Das Ist Mega Euros (2016) and In Soviet Russia, World Cup Predicts You (2018) won back-to-back by Campbell.

The Brexit Super League 2020(+1) won by a man we’re not allowed to speak to anymore.

The Christmas Sandwich Review Blog 10 Year Anniversary Championship (2022), won by Bazroy99 at the very last minute and thankfully preventing me from winning my own homemade trophy.

And this year we are back to the DACH region for the Euros, so this competition simply has to be called:

Das Ist Mega Euros – Ya Ist Von Slinky Sex Vol. II

And if you get that reference, Ludwigshafen to you! Here is this year’s trophy which I haven’t ordered yet so this is just a photo from the shop’s website.

I am going to reuse the disclaimer I used last time we did this:

All of the instructions are on the website and you have to predict everything, all the way up to and including the final, before the tournament starts. The website, it’s rules and instructions, and how it all works have nothing to do with me. So if you fuck it up and don’t finish all your predictions in time or don’t join my league or you spell your email address incorrectly or you say something racist and get banned, don’t moan to me. I will just send you this paragraph to read again. Take your time and read the fucking instructions.

And I did get to send that someone to read again last time, which obviously delighted me no end.

And finally, after all that, if you want to join in the fun here is the link and password you needed all along:

https://www.copabet.com/uefamec24/groups/das-ist-mega-euros-volii

The password is “sandwich”.

Feel free to share this with your friends, it’s open to anyone with the password, but make them read this whole thing first, thanks.