REVIEW: Pret’s Christmas Lunch by Pret

As you should know by now, there are no Christmas Sandwiches reviews at the weekend, but there also wasn’t one yesterday because I simply could not be bothered. And you’re lucky you’re getting one today, because it’s pissing down outside and my motivation in general is almost a rock bottom lately. Yes, the endless routine of being in the flat is driving me mad. We’ve been trying to move since April, but due to other people being arseholes and changing their mind at the last minute or solicitors dragging things out as long as humanly possible, I still find myself sitting in this fucking flat day in, day out without a proper place to sit and work. We are supposed to be moving in January, a cool 9 months after the possibility of moving started and when you add the 12 months of in and out of lockdowns before that, what a couple of years it’s been!

One thing that was helping with this endless monotony was running. I have been running a lot this year, and it’s good to get outside by myself and stop endlessly looking at my phone for 30-60 mins, but I haven’t been running for a month now because of covid self isolation and the fact it has got a lot colder, wetter and darker over the time I was genuinely trapped inside and so getting back out there is not so appealing.

But at least I have the sandwiches, right? And you, my loyal readers. So I did it, I went out and waddled down to Pret in the rain and waddled back again, which will be the highlight of my day. And Pret is traditionally one of the best, right, so what could go wrong? Cue loud fart noise.

Thick slices of British turkey with port & orange cranberry sauce, herby pork stuffing and baby spinach leaves. Finished with a dab of free range mayo and crispy onions.

Thick slices of turkey? Pure lies. I know I’ve moaned about spinach in Christmas sandwiches in previous years but holy Christ Pret have gone too far this time. There was too much spinach both in the sandwich and around the sandwich. Seriously, it was like a nest in there. As for the other fillings, there was hardly anything. You might not think that from the photo, but everything you can see against the plastic is all there is. Behind those few crumbs of fillings is just spinach. It’s a cruel illusion. I guess it makes a change from saying ‘it was the same as last year’. It’s so cack, I didn’t even check if it’s the same. I don’t care enough. This is all meaningless and I seemed to be trapped in hell.

TOMORROW: I don’t know if there will be a review yet. Not because I’m sick of all this (I am), but because I’m going into the office and although that it’s a great opportunity to get a sandwich from somewhere we don’t have in Tooting, it’s not an ideal environment for dicking about writing sandwich reviews when I should be working. So we’ll see what happens.

But good god it’ll be nice to get out of the flat for a day. Two years ago, you would never have heard me say I can’t wait to go to the office (even though I still don’t want to go more that once a week).

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