REVIEW: Christmas Lunch by Greggs

Turkey breast, sage & onion stuffing and cranberry & port sauce with spinach and mayonnaise in malted brown bread

Well well wellity well, I thought I was done. The EAT review I posted today was actually written on Tuesday and I thought that would see me through the week and I could retire for the season. But I’m back. I went to get a haircut because it’s Christmas and you’ve gotta look good, but everyone has the same idea and my usual barber has been – to coin a phrase of Charlie Brooker – packed to cunting point for two days. So I tried my luck with a new Turkish barber, and something new happened. I saw them putting sticks up people’s nose and leaving them there for a bit. When my time came, I decided to try it out and see what it is. Turns out, those sticks are covered in wax, and when he yanks them out it rips all of the hair out from around your nostrils. Wonderful – especially when you weren’t expecting such a sharp pain during a haircut.

Then after that, I was walking past yet another Greggs and today what did they have? Christmas sandwiches, that’s what. So you sexy little pigs get two reviews in one day. Merry Christmas. So let’s get down to business. Let’s hit the ground running. Let’s reach out and schedule a sandwich review.

I would say that this sandwich is as close to a homemade sandwich as it’s going to get for me. Very well balanced, the spinach staying in it’s lane, a great tasting bit of bacon in there, the cranberry sauce is good and the bread isn’t cold or slightly damp like a lot of other shop bought sandwiches. My only complaint would be that the stuffing is a bit bland. If you put the M&S Power Stuffing™ in this, we could have a winner on our hands. Is this why it was so hard to find a Christmas sandwich in Greggs this year? Because they are one of the best? It’s good to finish on a high.

So that’s it. I’ll put up some official rankings over the Christmas break, but I don’t think there will be anymore reviews this year. I’m not even going to proof read this one.

And did you notice? Pret didn’t even make it. They should’ve made more sandwiches because I went in a few and they had run out. The fools.

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